The Maple Leaf
The maple leaf is the symbol of this very country. It’s on our flag, if I’m not mistaken. McDonald’s has decided to feature it on their “golden arches”. There is a brand of delicious lunch meat called Maple Leaf. I eat this brand every day. Sometimes I forget to take off the packaging. I am a bit like a wolf in that way.
Our currency is pretty much maple leaves. One maple leaf equals one dollar. It’s a simple system and it works really well.
Boiled maple leaves is a children’s delight, while the adults prefer their leaves fried. This is the mature way, fried. Chow it down with some delicious beer – what, it’s a Canadian thing! – and gather round the radio for the CBC.
One of Canada’s most famous traditions is the Belle of the Ball pageant. The country’s sexiest maple leaves are judged. They strut their stuff down a runway and everyone hoots and hollers.
And of course, who could forget the best part about maple leaves: their syrup. Their delicious, delicious syrup that we Canadians love to slurp up.
Syrup is made by squeezing the leaf until goo pours out. The leaf screams but the Canadian must hold their grip, for there is a tasty treat waiting. The leaf dies and is given a proper funeral, eh. Then, the syrup is poured into big beautiful cans and sold in grocery stores across the nation. This is done in Quebec, for legal reasons.