And now, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I present to you that most curious of creatures: the humble beaver.
Next time you’re at the river with your husband and kids, take a little look around for one of these bad boys.
Every beaver has a tail. It’s what makes them so unique and Canadian. It’s flat like a pancake—geez, pancakes, now I’m thinking of syrup!—and it’s our national food. Take a bite of it if you wish—just don’t let the beaver catch you.
And the teeth—good lord, the teeth!—those little guys are sharp. They can nibble through wood and glass with the speed of a hockey player gliding down the ice. Every Spring, beavers across Canada get together and use those tiny, tiny teeth to make dams. It’s tradition and it happens every darn year! That’s why in Canada we call someone’s birthday a “Beaver Prayer.”
Want a beaver of your own? Just head down to Petcetera and pick one off the shelf. Make sure to pick one that isn’t too plump! And mind you, not too skinny, either! Don’t worry, I trust you.
Keep it as a pet or boil it up for a delicious Christmas dinner. It doesn’t matter, as long you’re having fun!